... and i wonder .

i always end up disappointed . . . and i wonder why .

i seem to set up myself up for the disappointment . maybe it's because i expect too much buh why would i want to settle for less ? i want what i want . i need what i need . i like what i like . i love what i love . and that's just it . you can either live up to the expectations or just disappointment . i quess i'm picky . i quess i've just seen and been throuqh a lot that i know what i don't want and exactly what i want . i don't know if i'll qet what i want one day . i'm waitinq thouqh . i just hope it comes throuqh .

the qame - better on the other side .

michael jackson tribute .

jay z - d.o.a. ( death of autotune ) .

kanye west - streetliqhts .

  

my favorite sonq off of 808's and heartbreaks .

save meh from myself .

It's not so easy loving me

It gets so complicated

All the things you've gotta be

Everything's changin

But you're the truth

I'm amazed by all your patience

Everything I put you through

When I'm about to fall

Somehow you're always waitin

with your open arms to catch me

You're gonna save me from myself

from myself, yes

You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch

Cuz some guys have shown me aces

But you've got that royal flush

I know it's crazy everyday

Well tomorrow may be shaky

But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm cryin

Cuz when I start to crumble

You know how to keep me smilin

You always save me from myself

from myself, myself

You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard

But you've broken all my walls

You've been my strength, so strong

And don't ask me why I love you

It's obvious your tenderness

Is what I need to make me

a better woman to myself

to myself, myself

You're gonna save me from myself

the eX files .

this has been what i like to call th'year of th'ex . it seems like every serious boyfriend i've ever had tried to qet back with meh . stranqe . it's funny how a man will fuck up on you and then want you back . i'll listen to what they say buh they always want to tell meh some bull shit like i'm qoinq to fall for it aqain . niqqa please . and it pains meh when they want to qo back to how shit was and they don't understand when i tell them that we can't . people qrow up and move on . i've chanqed and they don't realize that . it's a shame buh a person can't stay in the past . i have to move on with my future to people who deserve meh and don't take my love for qranted .

a woman like me .

Do you think
You could fall for a woman like me
'Cause I find it hard to trust
I need too much
And I really don't believe in love, no no
Do you think
That I could be the girl of your dreams
Sometimes I don't let things go
Get emotional
And sometimes I'm just out of control

You need to stop for a minute
Before you get too, deep up in it
(Too deep)
'Cause everything ain't what it seems
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me
(Woman like me)
You need to think about it
Before you get hooked on the venom
And can't live without it
(No no)
Can't believe everything you see
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me

Do you think
That I could be the one that you seek
'Cause baby I'm one step ahead
You're two steps behind
But baby I don't mind
Do you think
That I can make you real happy baby
Just don't get me wrong
My loving is so strong
But I ain't tryna lead you on

You need to stop for a minute
(No no)
Before you get too, deep up in it
(No no)
'Cause everything ain't what it seems
(Seems)
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me
(Woman like me)
You need to think about it
Before you get hooked on the venom
And can't live without it
(Without it)
Can't believe everything you see
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me

Woman like me
Woman like me
Woman like me
Oh

You need to stop for a minute
(Stop for a minute)
Before you get too, deep up in it
(Before you get too deep up in it)
'Cause everything ain't what it seems
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me
You need to think about it
(Think about it, baby)
Before you get hooked on the venom
And can't live without it
(No, no)
Can't believe everything you see
It's hard loving a woman

A woman like me
Woman like me
Woman like me
Woman like me

beyonce - woman like me

the clipse ft. kanye west - kinda like a biq deal

perez vs . will i am .

this past weekend at the much music awards at an after party perez hilton claimed via twitter that he was assaulted by will i am of the black eyed peas . in his video statement perez said that it was will i am's manaqer that assaulted him . what's the truth ?

anyways will i am responded to these accusations in his own video messaqe .

honestly violence is never the answer to meh . buh perez disrespected will i am and expected that he would just take it . really thouqh ? a homosexual man callinq a heterosexual man a faqqot ? that's just such a disrespectinq word to anybody . 

team will i am .

err ... jealousy .

i'm not talkinq about beinq jealous of a person or what they have . i'm talkinq about beinq jealous in relationships . as in not trustinq your boyfriend or qirlfriend with the opposite sex . i know sometimes people have reasons to be jealous . buh until those reasons are proven then why be jealous ? i'm the last person to talk to about trust because i have issues with trustinq buh i qive people the benefit of the doubt . it really qets on my nerves when someone i'm tryinq to be in a relationship with qets jealous of my friends of the opposite sex . some people think that you can't be friends with the opposite sex buh it just comes easy for meh . people think i'm makinq excuses for the way i am and they really qot meh fucked up for that . buh the qoinq throuqh text messaqes , myspaces messaqes , qoinq throuqh my computer is not qoinq to fly with meh . people always jump to conclusions about thinqs without knowinq the first thinq about what's qoinq on . it's like people expect a person to do wronq . i quess that's how life qoes tho . people will always qet cauqht up doinq stupid shit anyways so why put yourself throuqh tryinq to be all slick and search throuqh shit . like why would you really want to find somethinq you don't want to see . i mean a little jealousy is alriqht with meh because it kinda shows that a person cares and wants you to themselves . buh sometimes people just do too much extra shit .

the first cd i ever bouqht was tlc - crazy sexy cool . they still are my favorite female qroup of all time . and this is my favorite tlc sonq . it's a qreat sonq with a qreat messaqe . i pretty much have every album that they've ever made . 

r.i.p. left eye

dear mama .

" no love for my daddy cuhz the coward wasn't there . " - tupac


it's father's day but my father isn't relevant to meh . he was never really around and has been absent from my life for the past couple years . my mom has always been there for meh throuqhout everythinq . and my mom loves meh even after everythinq i've put her throuqh . she's been both my mother and my father so that's why i qive props to her this father's day . i qotta qive thanks to my actual father . i wouldn't be here if he hadn't married my mother . he did one thinq riqht .


happy father's day to all the qreat fathers out there .

increase th; peace .

it's a shame that the world that we live in is full of such hate and violence . people qet mad over th;stupidest thinqs . and i wonder . how many people have died over somethinq stupid ? 

hahaha .

speaks for itself .

laker parade .

woke up at six in the morninq . cauqht the bus to the coliseum .

waited from 7:30 to 9:30 in this crowd .

to sit in this crowd . in the hott ass sun .

to see this .

and it was worth it .

our qreatest fear .

our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate ,

but that we are powerful beyond measure .

it is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us .

we ask ourselves , who am I to be brilliant ,

gorgeous , handsome , talented and fabulous ?

actually , who are you not to be ?

you are a child of GOD .

your playing small does not serve the world .

there is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you .

we were born to make manifest the glory of GOD within us .

it is not just in some ; it is in everyone .

and , as we let our own light shine , we consciously give

other people permission to do the same .

as we are liberated from our fear ,

our presence automatically liberates others .

truth .

and i won't qive up me to be a part of you .

the thouqhts runninq throuqh my mind .

it's hard to know what's qoinq to happen in the future . i stay because i want you buh i know i don't need you . or maybe i do . cuhz this on and off thinq isn't workinq for meh . it's like the time we're on it's the best and when we're off it's the worst . i'd rather be able to move on buh it's like i can't . despite all the bad stuff , there's still nobody that i can connect with like i can with you . it's crazy buh it's true . 

the lake show . fin .

LAKERS VS. ORLANDO

4 - 1

my lakers are finally champions aqain . i'm hella ecstatic . you should already know . ha . it feels so qood . especially since all the mother fucker laker haters i know . all the kobe haters . mother fucker four rinqs for kobe and derek fisher . what a wonderful day . i'm at the laker parade like fuck it . wooooooooooooo !

shannon brown qot his first rinq . first year playinq with the lakers . he's a beast thank you very much . that's my baby . haha .