dissectinq my relationships .

i wont ever understand why its so hard to have a relationship . any kind of relationship .

findinq love .

the quys i want to be my boyfriend won't commit . and the quys that want to be my boyfriend i'm not feelinq . it's extremely confusinq . i'm a qood qirl . and qood qirls are hard to find these days . so when i'm really feelinq someone and they tell meh that i'd be a perfect qirlfriend buh dont want to commit . i understand if a person wants to be free buh to still want to keep meh here on the side isn't workinq for meh . like honestly you're qoinq to treat me like the rest . nah i'm not feelinq that . over it . done wit . and yet sometimes its just so hard to move on . i wanna believe like maybe this time it's different . maybe this time he's ready . and it never fails . i'm always left disappointed . i'll just always move on and keep focus on the future buh the past is always there in the back of my mind . until a man can really step up . it's just meh , myself , and i .

" me , myself , and i

that's all i got in the end

that's what i found out 

and it ain't no need to cry

i took a vow that from now on

i'm gonna be my own best friend "

friendships .

real friends are hard to find . i have barely any friends i can rely on , talk to about anythinq , or really trust . i have a lot of superficial friendships . the type of friendships where the person is someone you can have fun with buh can't really trust . i've qained and lost many friends over the years over silly shit and serious shit . it really tauqht meh to quard myself aqainst people . there are some people that are bad influences over you , people who use you , people who stab you in the back , etc . i have less friends that don't fit any of those characteristics that i can count on one hand . without usinq all my finqers . i think people need to be picky about who their friends are . i like to be friends with everybody buh it's not easy when people are plain assholes . i can tell who's qoinq to be a qood friend , not only by lookinq how they treat meh buh also treat their other friends . cuhz if they're beinq foul with their other " qood friends " than how do i know that they're not beinq foul with meh . life is hard enouqh without havinq people you thouqht you could trust brinq you down .

" every now and then i get a little easy

i let a lot of people depend on me

i never though they would ever deceive me

don't you know when times got rough 

i was standing on my own

i'll never let another get that close to me

you see i've grown a lot smarter now

sometimes you have to choose and then you'll see

if your friend is true they'll be there with you

through the thick and thin "